A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22
One of the best parts of living is having a sense of humor. I like to think that when a person is feeling moody and cranky, they don’t have to remain that way. A little laughter goes a long way and it will take one’s mind off of their worries.
Today, I thought it would be nice to share some humorous sayings, jokes and a video to put a smile on your face. After all, a little laughter goes a long way in restoring one’s peace of mind.
Think church bulletins don’t have their share of bloopers? I’m pretty sure the ones below made the members laugh out loud.
1. Don’t let worry kill you off–let the Church help.
2. After today’s service, coffee and donuts will be served in the basement. Please come down and say hell to the pastor.
3. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
4. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
6. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
7. Please be in prayer for Jim and Judy, their baby daughter was born 9 months premature.
8. Members of the Senior’s Breakfast Club stretched and strained Thursday morning as John Doe, local physical therapist, demonstrated several exercises during the club meeting. There will be no meeting next week.
9. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
10. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
You can enjoy additional funny church bulletin announcements at you can be funny. com
Here are a few short clean stories I found humorous. The authors are unknown.
One Nut for You, One Nut for Me
On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.” He just knew what it was. “Oh my,” he shuddered, “it’s Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.” The man said, “Beat it, kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me…” The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ the truth. Let’s see if we can see the devil himself.” Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence, and we’ll be done.” They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
One Sunday Morning
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning son.”
“Good morning pastor” replied the young man, focused on the plaque.
“Sir, what is this?” Johnny asked.
“Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service,” replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, “Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?”
The TV is my Shepherd, I shall not want anything else.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa.
It leadeth me away from the Scripture.
It destroyeth my soul.
It leadeth me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will enjoy the evil, for blood and sex, they excite me.
It prepares a filthy commercial before me in the presence of my children.
It anoints my head with humanism. My coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow my family all the days of our lives,
and we shall dwell in the house watching TV forever
Ken Davis: Children Fighting On the Way to Church
A little laughter goes a long way. Enjoy your week.
In Him Alone
The Counterfeit Christian